The big break

I think we definetly needed more intro to know how we got here. But I'll try and do my best...

Last night was probably the second time in my life I have been like in serious real pain. Bf almost broke up with me, and all because of the decisions that have been happening since we gave the big news to my parents. Basically, my parents wanted to make every single decision on the wedding only because they we´re helping financially. Okay, and I'm with you, well if I were paying, of couse I'd want to have my opinion taken, I get that. What I don't get, it's why they wanted to change everything, I mean, if I had a daughter who was getting married, and I can help her financially, I'm going to help her without any conditions you know, and I feel that that's what mom and dad didn't understand. So after me allowing certain decisions over the wedding, well of course bf was getting upset because it wasn't what we decided on. So I just kept changing everything, plus I made the mistake of telling him every single little thing my parents thought and said, and so I just created like a huge problem between them, and so know bf doesn't ever want to put a foot on my house, he doesn´t want to have anything to do with my family, so that was kind of our discussion last night.

But it all started because he posted this thing on fb, saying that nobody should make an opinion on someone else's wedding, so basically stop whatever you're doing because nobody asked for you opinion, and he basically said it was for my parents. I asked him if he could take it down because my mom would see it and I knew that was just going to cause me more problems with her. I insisted, he got mad, my mom saw it, she said hard stuff to me, then I told bf about what he had done, and then he got more mad and so the big break happened.

He said he was sick of me being handled by my parents, that he didn't want to put a foot my house ever again, nor talk to them. And well, that came out pretty hard, he asked me for a break, which I don't really believe in, either you're with a person, or you're not. So not going to lie, I kinda of begged him not to take that decision, I know I made a big mistake allowing my parents certain stuff, but I feel like he is not being sympathethic with me either, he doesn't care about the relationship I have with my family, so basically I have to decide: do I want to stay with my family, or do I want to be with him, who is never going to see my family again...

So my perfect world was just breaking down you know? Have you even been in that position? What would you do? He is the guy that you always hoped to find, he makes you a better person and you just love him so much for everything he's done? Let´s say his the guy that you thought you weren't enough to get. So having him now is like a dream come true you know? Plus my parents have always liked to decide over me, which is alright cause I get it, their my parents, but there are things that they can't decide, and this was one of those things. So I really don't know what to do.

Today, my soul feels pretty empty, my day has been pretty long, I just want the day to be over and forget about everything and everyone.

This quarantine has been tough with me. I can't handle being here too much, I feel the need of running away. 

What do I do?, what should I do?